Confession Booth : I am a Gamer Chic

I have been playing MMORGS, and Firstshooter Games for a very long time. I’ve started  gaming, years and years ago, by playing Quake, I/II/III.

I remember, I had Dial Up internet back then, and it was a pain the ass to compete with the DSL players. Which lead me to using Speedbots, which are cracks/ hacks to enhance the gaming speed. And I became a pretty well known Frag Queen. So playing Quake I, was just awesome.

I’ve had friends on an old Chat called “Mplayer”, where you could do anything from creating Chatrooms, to watching people on Webcams, to playing cardgames and playing Quake. We all went in hordes to play Quake I, which had some orginial NIN tunes .

Just looking back at these times, yea..these were good times, on a Pentium I/ 166 MHZ, 8 gig of Harddrive, hah!

Anyhow, thats where everything started. Mplayer eventually shut down for good, I suppose lack of funds or bandwith problems. I don’t know, but we were all majorly pissed at this. And as it goes on the WWW, you loose contact with these people, who once you shared every free minute together with. I have one friend left from back then, and he found me on “Myspace”. The rest of the people…I don’t know what they do or of their where abouts.

Later on I started playing my very first MMORG, called “Star Wars Galaxies”! I started SWG on Dec 27th, 2003. The game was amazing, it seemed like an real world to me. I learned on how to become a Artisan, Tailor and later on eventually indulged in Combat. My first finished Profession ( Grind ) was Fencer. I thought Fencer’s were just more “elegant” then Carbineers, Pistoleers and the rare breed of Jedi ( back then it was rare…).

I went from Fencer to TKM, “Teras Kasi Master”, ( a few of us ) as roleplayed in the game, we were from an ancient Bunduki Tribe, and used the Martial Arts as our defence, against the imperial Empire aka Darth Vader.

I loved this game!

Til SOE, Sony destroyed the game with their retarded money making “game enhancements”, basicly ruining the game for the entire playerbase. We , the players, protested in

” Theed / Naboo “. Crashed the server numerous times by lagging the entire server up. The CSR’s, tried to stop our protests by adding spider like enemies who shoot at us ( I can’t remember the name of these spidery things ).

But we came back and back and back. Well long story short, SWG players eventually split up, by starting to play WoW, COV (City of Villains) and just went all their own ways. I toggled a bit longer in SWG, because most of us just didn’t wanted to “Let Go”.

So I picked up ” World of Warcraft ” and instantly hated the game! I wasn’t used to Gnomes, Nightelves and specially not USED to the mickey mousish/ cartoonish graphics. I played a little bit on my Human/ Mage andjust felt so lost in this huge Player Base. I didn’t knew anyone. Everyone was already a lvl 60 or close to it, and I was by myself. I fought myself through these endless Grinds and managed to become a LvL 43 Mage ( btw, which I still am today ).

The game burned me out. I didn’t had the backup of a guild or the chat on Teamspeak as I did have with SWG. Everyone in Ironforge seemed to be so ” ueber leet “, and sat on their 800 gold Rides, showing off to us low levels.

I eventually stopped WoW, and went back to SWG – my game! But only to find out, that those 100+ friends I had on my friends list are not in game anymore. I had tons of in game emails from friends, writing a fare well note to me and wishing me good luck….I fucking cried!

I loved this game so much, the daily talk with my friends and everyone just vanished.

So, I played a little and eventually found a guy from my old guild in the “Mos Eisley Cantina “! I was so happy to see him and we quickly went on Teamspeak to catch up on what happend. And it turned out that most of my guildies came back and we wanted to re/ create/ re – play a game , that just didn’t existed anymore.

After a few month, the hype was gone, guild issues and changes. And I was just pissed and about to delete every damn game, SWG, WoW from my PC.

Til one of my guildies told me about Second Life. I totally hesitated at first. He told me about the mature Adult Content of the game and how everything is so RP related. ( roleplaying ).

In SWG… we made fun of role players or shims ( HE’s that played SHE’s ).

But I was bored with SWG and gave Second Life a try. I was amazed at first how COOL this Virtual Reality was. I planned on creating things in game, and make RL money like everyone else. But this all never happend. I saw a huge community, who mainly was out to have ” AV – Avartar – Cybersex “.

The average Joe Shmoe, was able to live out his wildest fantasies in this game. It’s amazing and sickening at the same time. “Citizens” become Escorts, Submissive Slaves, or go all the way into the Marvel Hero “Gor”.

Basicly the majority of the  game is about Sex and getting pixel laid. Yes, you can even purchase your ” genitals and sound effects ” in game.

I was hooked on this game for about 3 month during this past summer. I’ve managed to sell a little bit of  Art Prints, and get myself a small Cottage, by becoming a Premium Member, for $9.95 / a month. While I played SL, I became a Club Host, and hosted “Costume/ Best Dressed etc Events”. I’ve listend nightly to retarded Pop Disco and Techno and pretended to be the most happiest Hostess in skimpy Clothes, just to make a “few lindens ( the SL currency )”, and to blow it away by going shopping to buy more dumber outfits for the “Club Events”.

I eventually seperated myself from the “club scene” and gotten into Arts and took some TUI/ Builder Classes, to make the money I never made. My patience just gotten in my own way and I was upset again at all these retarded role players, pretending to be something they aren’t.

I guess, I mix to much real life into a game and can’t really get into the roleplaying aspect. So I pretty much dropped the game, and picked up WoW again.

It’s a back and fourth continuance of a gamer chic like me. I am looking forward to “Vanguard – Saga Of Heroes”, but I am sure the “Hype” will die out again. Because SWG was MY game, and Sony Entertainment ruined it for me.

I guess, a part of me died with this game (SWG) – because no other game could ever hold my attention and the fun times I had, like SWG.

The End-

zum~

WoW-nnui

By Mike Sellers

Since its release not quite two years ago, World of Warcraft has been the undisputed market leader in MMOs.  It smashed through the formerly unattainable one million user mark and kept right on going, now steaming toward 7,000,000 paying users.  WoW has blown out all previous expectations for MMOs in US, European, and Asian markets and keeps right on going.

And yet.

Last night I logged in to WoW for the first time in a long time. I visited my characters one by one, but didn’t stick around to play very long despite finally having an evening free to play.   I felt a distinct detachment from my characters and soon recognized my old friend, game ennui. 

Now I don’t mean to sound like I’m spelling doom for WoW (or MMOs in general!). Far from it.  I don’t know WoW’s sales numbers, but as far as I know their box sales remain at or near the top of the charts.  And of course there’s a much-anticipated expansion pack coming up that will give them a welcome, if perhaps temporary, bump in their usage numbers. 

But in my case, not only could I really not gather any excitement about playing these characters, knowing as I do that I just don’t have multiple hours per week (much less per day!) to play them, but the more advanced the character the more difficult it was to get back into. I could sorta drive my 22lvl hunter; my 37 warlock was almost incomprehensible — and for many more expert players such levels are “lowbies.” Remembering all those spells, weapons, abilities, talents, etc., just seemed like way too much trouble. And all the quests that were driving these characters’ progress were entirely meaningless now (this is the danger of external motivation—it’s just too easy to lose all sense of why I should care about an entirely artificial set of quests).

I’m involved, loosely speaking (given my lack of attendance), in several different guilds on PvE, RP, and PvP servers.  In each, multiple people I know — both those with multiple level 60 characters and those who have never come close to that — have sort of run aground on the over-and-over again gameplay, whether that’s yet-another-kill-X-creatures quest or yet-another-raid for yet-another-piece-of-armor.   

No one I’ve talked to dislikes the game; there’s no sense of having been spurned or that the experience has curdled.  But in even the best parties there seems to sometimes come a moment when, amidst the music and noise you and your friends silently agree “great party; we’re outta here.”   For some people that moment has come with WoW.  And I’m guessing that trend is only going to accelerate. 

So if this isn’t just a local phenomenon — if I’m not just hanging out with multiple groups of all the wrong people — then it seems possible that while WoW continues to be grow (bringing new people into contact with MMOGs all the time), it may be approaching that point where significant numbers of long-term satisfied players nevertheless begin to cycle off.  That’s not too surprising given the typical longevity of any individual’s interest in a particular MMO. 

But if that’s so, then two big questions leap out: where are all these players going to go, and, as I’m so fond of asking, what comes next?

I know for example that Vanguard is jockeying for position as WoW’s successor, but I wonder about that.  It is supposed to have more flexible grouping and a few other innovations (in addition to expensive and detailed, if perhaps less-than-stunning graphics), but when it comes right down to it, what’s the draw for games like this?  Are those struck with WoW-nnui (whether this is their first MMOG or their tenth), who may have taken a handful of characters to level 60 in WoW, and then stuck around or come back to see what’s new on the way to level 70 in the upcoming expansion, really going to be excited to  play YAMITG (yet another men in tights game)?  If a player has become bored with  the by now well-trodden traditional MMOFRPG gameplay, how will another game bring them a new sort of experience, and not just present old dwarves in new clothing? 

 IMO this is the question to which Vanguard, Warhammer, Conan, LOTRO, Hero’s Journey, and any other contenders must have a clear and ready answer.

annuaire de site ‘zum’

23:59PM
it’s been a while,yes a while.braindead ‘zum’.
i got a new job.terrible job,terrible work,smile like a baboon on a holiday,when they tell you too.
do baboon’s even smile ?

look like a clown,represent yourself to the ‘people..people’ as a clown.low paying job,lowering my mind level.ah,what do we have to do to pay the rich man..work in jobs that aren’t suited – well not suited for me.i am a paid by the hour puppet.
but how lucky i was today.
i worked on the company laptop all day long to investigate,why,how and when someone knocked a stack of papers down on the 14th floor,and pissed coperate america off.
to use the laptop was an internal intel pentium four blessing.
/yawn’s.

i sometimes wonder,if it’s really me or the other’s?am i a so spaced out already,that i can’t function halfway decent in society?.!put on a show,a mascerade,dummes gesicht fuer die reichen arschloecher.

it kills me to do something,an continuance from job to job.to do things that make no damn sense to me.why do i have to smile at some fuck,because the company want’s me to be customer service oriented.does this person i smiled at..really regonizes that i smiled at her/him.
no.
anyway…i am working,i shouldn’t complain,i should be thankful to have a job,and not sit in the gutter with the rest of ‘them’.
but yet,i want to breathe life and i want it ALL!time is running by,i don’t have all of my remaining life to wait for something good to happen.i must make it happening.and the time for it is/was 5,10,years ago..oh yea and yesterday too.
the conversation with lets call him ‘andy warhol of the south’ in short ‘aw’..aw sounds good..yea…awwwww.
‘aw’ made my head hurt,in a good way.we talked about the bohemian lifestyle,dadaism,comparism,hesse,kafka,fat and slim cats,fassbinder and about these ‘people..people’.
‘aw’,ein schlacksiger mann vom norden,who stimulated by brain,woke up my rotten cells in a most forgotten way.whom seem’d to be at ease with his life or more so himself.something i admire in other humans.paris o’ paris…edith piaf,a short statue in a small smoke filled cafe’.non,rien de rien.
bullshit,i regret most everything!

‘aw’ has showed me in a very short period of time,to ease my mind,relax…don’t be like the ‘people…people…’.

easier said then done?ja?
ja.
schoner nu yorka,the photos are breath taking.
does anyone get what i am trying to say here ?maybe not…doesn’t matter.i understand,it’s my state of mind which is important – not YOURS!maybe i am being a brat,yess and i shall embrace the bratness in me.to be able to understand ‘aw’,to feel like…’I AM HOME’- again!
and all it took was a few spoken words,a pair of intense and alive brown eyes,gestures with the hands and a fitting voice.
yes my sunday was good.i smiled when i left work – my brain has gotten an powerboost.hey,that’s almost better then an simple orgasm…simple i mean.
fantastic!
was it as good for you – as it was for me ?

zum.

it’s time for the perculator

08:14AM 

ok,it is time to write.i am negelecting everything over playing “starwars galaxies – am empire devided”.this game is such an addiction,i just can’t stop playing.

I WANT MY LIFE BACK! ha…

btw, has anyone ever neglected the real life over the computer life ?

inquiring mind would like to know
so whats been going on in zum’s world.a lot and then again nothing.my move was a big chaos ,fiasko.i am such an procrastinator,i pack my stuff an hour before i move.and then it takes me days to do finish up.everytime i move -it takes me atleast one week to get all my crap together,and once in a new place i decorate the place maybe 6 mos later.yah weird.thanks for the backporch storage room i have ,it’s packed with all my stuff.

i am really upset at the ‘harris teeter store chain’ – it is an better grocery store,whom send me coupons and free starshmucks coffee.anyway,last time i was there,i always grind my coffee freshly,some fuck before me must have had some “almond flavored coffee”-now my coffee tastes like freaqqin almonds.not even the freshly cinnamon i put in my coffee can take the almond flavour away.

i took the stray cat that was hanging around in my old apartment-i took him into an cat carrier into my car and brought him over here.let him sniff around in the new place,but then he wanted to go outside.soooo mr straycat *mr .man* – i named him that is one helluva housecat now!

my cats are slightly pissed ,specially ’slimm the siamese.well ‘mr man’ comes in every morning and loves me to death,he comes in ,eats,purr’s want to sit on my lap,and then he parks himself on the big chair and sleeps all day.

yea there is sme hissing going on,but i tell him not to do that in my house,and he is getting better at this.my,he is one smart feline,very respectfull of my furniture – unlike MY CATS.they are PUNKS!they already pissed on my new 2 chairs! i yelled at all of them,because i don’t know which one did it!
i am beginning to love ‘mr man’…

of course i am stil not working,but i added my finances up,and by the end of this month i have to be at some work/job.my rent i paid ahead for april,so it wont be due til the 1st of may.right now i am pretty much broke,my fridge is sort of empty.i don’t eat much, but bananas and drink nasty almond tasting coffee and smoke for three.

i am just enjoying to play my rpg game of starwars,to be what i can’t be in real life,and it so sucks you in.this is an world of it’s own.like thye matrix…it totally takes over you,and you can only play and play and play til exhaustion.i am an addict i admit.

i met lots of cool ppls on there as well,the europeans and canadians are the coolest.one guy is from austria,so i can speak bavarian with him-the dialects -bavarian and austrian are similar.and these people are just smarter than these american kiddos on there,whom are all “imperials”!
i think i have mentioned it before – i am a “rebel”.
i don’t work for ‘darth vader’ ,because he wants to destroy all us ‘rebels’.actually right now -rebels are stronger than imperials.or better yet in the majority.i wrote in my profile on starwars :

The reason i don’t like imperials is simple – they are all Republicans and use cheap TUSSY deodorant’s!

other than that life is life,passing me by somehow.because i am an pc gamer addict and don’t do anything else but just that.i don’t know how to snap out of it.and i cant imagine going to work and not playing this game as much as i am doing right now! i will have seizures!

anyhow,so much for zum’s life..nothing much happen’d.all stays the same…

this ‘700 club’, adela, nation of islam

08:51AM yesterday i had as few erans to run.i went to the unemployment office to get an huge print out of companys that are hiring in this region incl some job search sites.while i was sittign in there waiting for my turn to be called ,i have noticed an older muslim woman,who wore an hijab and matching dress.she looked poor,but in peace with herself.she noticed me too.my turn came and i went and talked to that lady there,whom was trying to tell me on how to use a computer for the “internet”.i politly interrupted her and told her that i have ‘access to the internet’..lol,poor thing. anyways,once i left the building,this muslim lady was like right next to my car and made handsigns to get my attention.my first thought of me was like ‘oh no she needs a freaqqin ride’,so i hestitated at first,but then rolled down the passenger window,and she asked me in broken english (she saw my blue islamic prayer beads and the ‘all seeing blue eye’ hanging of my car backview mirror.’ sister could you please help me to give me a ride to the bustop.then i saw she had grocery bags,and she wasn’t that old but just looked old.so i said yes i give you a ride.i asked here where she was living at,and it was way out of my way,but i told ‘adela’ – i take you home.adela is from ‘yemen’,spoke lots of arabic to me,and to my surprise i understood so much.i couldn’t believe it! and mashallah we had an conversation going.english and arabic,it sounded rather funny on my part i guess.the grocerys she had came from an nearby foodbank where she has gotten the food from.she told me she has 2 daughters,18 and 16,one is in college and the other one stil in highschool.he husband is in kenia/africa – and married to 2 other women.she was very proud to tell me that he had 2 other wifes and 6 kids with them.i smiled and told her i don’t think i would want to be a wife,and have 2 or 3 more more wifes running around.but she told me she taught these wifes everything and loves them very much.i smiled and thought to myself – it is a good system to those whom understand the culture.for the westerner it is hard to comprehend to live in such an arrangement.(well maybe mormons would understand,hehe) i had some things to do,but in our convo while driving,it came out that adela was in need of an job.so i thought of this ‘greek restaurant’ i know off,but the owners are from lebanon and palestine.so i took her there.her english isn’t to well,so the son of the owner,her and me we talked.he spoke arabic too,to ME and of course adela.and i understood most of it again!he spoke an very clean arabic,not with an slang and very precise,not to fast either.he needed an cook,but adela asked if he serves ‘haram’ meat – which he does.and she asked if she could wear her hijab,and he said -no,she has to wear an lil hat,like an baseball hat.and jeans! well adela is a muslima,and she cant wear these things.but she was very nice to him regardless.then she asked if she could have a lil bit of food,because she has diabetes,and he said ‘look at the menue’ and order… now this is wrong!i said to him – i don’t think she has much money on her,so he just shook his head…like he was saying ‘oh well- no food then.this is so wrong.as arabic people he should have given her a bite to eat! well,he said he doesn’t think she wold be ok for the kitchen,because she has to work very fast and that she can NOT sepak arabic in front of the american customers! what a dam sell-out!and adeal asked him if was muslim – and he said -NO,he is a christian,his whole family is christian,and i asked him if was american citizen and he nodded is head proudly.i told him – i would never become american citizen-because i will never place my hand to my heart and pledge the allgegiance to an flag.as a matter of fact – i wouldn’t put my hand on my heart for any piece of cloth! it is just wrong in my opinion . i am an ‘alien with an greencard’ – which isn’t really green,but meaning i am a foreigner in this country and always will be!i careless tho. so i took adela to another place,an guy from ’syria’ and his cook was ‘turkish’ – an restaurant that makes PIZZA’s!anyway’s we went there and he was really nice.some american stood there dumbfounded because they spoke arabic,and he wrote adela’s name in arabic on a lil paper and her phone number ,and come to find out – he needs someone who does prep cooking,like cutting veggies and meat.adela would be working in the back of the kitchen,the turkish guy also speaks a lil arabic,so adela will be able to understand the food orders.and hehe,she then said to me,go get some food ( i was hungry by then),and i looked at her in surprise,she snapped her fingers and said that allah has been good to her,because he brought ME along ,and i helped her to find an job and then she asked the guy for a bit food – and they fixed an whole pizza fresh for us.that was just really nice.and so we munched on this pizza.adela ate with her hands,incl the salad,which for westerners is ‘nasty’ but i know in morocco we do the same thing…or use bread to pick up the food pieces.so by today – she should have this job,because her daughter she sais would help her to fill out the application. while we ate,there was this channel on with this so called ‘christian 700 club’! i wanted to throw a WMD at this guy who gave a speech on how JUSTIFIED it was to kill the hamas leader and that israel should disarm every palestinian and justt nuke the place!then some homeland propaganda bullshit.it made me so sick – if that fuck would be a christian wtf would he say something like that!!!i am going to write an email to this sickening tv channel and that old fuck whom is none but an infidel piece of shit! i then took adela home.i had to leave,because i had to be somewhere at 2pm,but she invided me to come and she will cook for me. YAY,of course i will come and eat some  good ole arab homecooked meals,hehe. after my 2 pm trip,i was on an intersection in an more black neighborhood.and i saw these “nation of islam guys” giving out their newspaper “the final call’ – to all the black people that xactlyck people’.he was totally surprised and had to search for an explantion and then told me,that he thinks the whites are evil and ill mannered.and i said;you are muslim,right?’ he nodded his head.so i said; doesn’t the koran teach you not to hate and judge people by color? he said ;yes BUT the white ppls and we african americans in the usa,slavery etc.so i interrupted him and said – stay on the islamic fact of this subject and not african american history of slavery.he then looked at me and said ;you are right; i and my brothers we have to learn to overlook color.exactly i said,because muslims come in all shape forms and skin colors. but i couldn’t resist to tell him that minister farrakhan IMHO is an criminal whom helped to kill malcolm x,once he came back from mecca and saw the light that islam is an religion of alll races and colors.and once he changed his radical islamic point of views -he was murdered by the nation of islam,including back then the young ‘farrakhan’ whom created his leadership by pushing,killing malcolm x.the guy denied all of that.so i suggestes some readign material to him. well i made my point to the guy,i always wanted to confront these guys,and he then thanked me for bringing this ’subject’ up to him and asked me if i see another ‘NOI brother’ to do the same,and ask HIM the same questions. which i will do. the end, zum~