annuaire de site ‘zum’

it’s been a while,yes a while.braindead ‘zum’.
i got a new job.terrible job,terrible work,smile like a baboon on a holiday,when they tell you too.
do baboon’s even smile ?
look like a clown,represent yourself to the ‘people..people’ as a clown.low paying job,lowering my mind level.ah,what do we have to do to pay the rich in jobs that aren’t suited – well not suited for me.i am a paid by the hour puppet.
but how lucky i was today.
i worked on the company laptop all day long to investigate,why,how and when someone knocked a stack of papers down on the 14th floor,and pissed coperate america off.
to use the laptop was an internal intel pentium four blessing.

i sometimes wonder,if it’s really me or the other’s?am i a so spaced out already,that i can’t function halfway decent in society?.!put on a show,a mascerade,dummes gesicht fuer die reichen arschloecher.

it kills me to do something,an continuance from job to do things that make no damn sense to me.why do i have to smile at some fuck,because the company want’s me to be customer service oriented.does this person i smiled at..really regonizes that i smiled at her/him.
anyway…i am working,i shouldn’t complain,i should be thankful to have a job,and not sit in the gutter with the rest of ‘them’.
but yet,i want to breathe life and i want it ALL!time is running by,i don’t have all of my remaining life to wait for something good to happen.i must make it happening.and the time for it is/was 5,10,years ago..oh yea and yesterday too.
the conversation with lets call him ‘andy warhol of the south’ in short ‘aw’ sounds good..yea…awwwww.
‘aw’ made my head hurt,in a good way.we talked about the bohemian lifestyle,dadaism,comparism,hesse,kafka,fat and slim cats,fassbinder and about these ‘people..people’.
‘aw’,ein schlacksiger mann vom norden,who stimulated by brain,woke up my rotten cells in a most forgotten way.whom seem’d to be at ease with his life or more so himself.something i admire in other o’ paris…edith piaf,a short statue in a small smoke filled cafe’.non,rien de rien.
bullshit,i regret most everything!

‘aw’ has showed me in a very short period of time,to ease my mind,relax…don’t be like the ‘people…people…’.

easier said then done?ja?
schoner nu yorka,the photos are breath taking.
does anyone get what i am trying to say here ?maybe not…doesn’t matter.i understand,it’s my state of mind which is important – not YOURS!maybe i am being a brat,yess and i shall embrace the bratness in be able to understand ‘aw’,to feel like…’I AM HOME’- again!
and all it took was a few spoken words,a pair of intense and alive brown eyes,gestures with the hands and a fitting voice.
yes my sunday was good.i smiled when i left work – my brain has gotten an powerboost.hey,that’s almost better then an simple orgasm…simple i mean.
was it as good for you – as it was for me ?



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