Archive for the 'Weird' Category

Borat is sued!

By SAM WOSTEAR


BORAT the movie has been “great success” to quote the unapologetic Kazakhstan TV presenter. However, more and more of the people who appear in the film are speaking out against his creator, Sacha Baron Cohen. Some say they were tricked into thinking they were being interviewed for a Belarus documentary about American life. US contributors say they were paid as little as £70. Those in Kazakhstan allegedly got just £3 for being in the £27million smash. Here, they speak out.

NICU TUDORACHE
villager:

In the movie, Glod, a poverty-stricken village in Romania, is home to Borat and a community of male incestuous rapists and female prostitutes.It is presented as a typical Kazakhstan town.Just four of the 1,000 residents have a job, so they welcomed the £3 fee for appearing in the film. Grandfather Nicu has got together with some of the other villagers to pool funds in order to sue the film-makers. They believe they have been exploited and humiliated,Nicu lost an arm in an accident and in the film had a rubber sex toy attached instead. He claims he had no idea what it was and now feels ashamed and deeply disturbed by the incident.He said: “Our region is very poor, and everyone is trying hard to get out of this misery. It is outrageous to exploit people’s misfortune like this — to laugh at them. We will try to hire a lawyer to take legal action for being cheated and exploited.”Spirea Ciorobea was dubbed “village mechanic and abortionist.” He is furious with his portrayal.He said: “What I saw looks disgusting. Even if we are uneducated and poor, it is not fair that someone does this to us.” But vice-mayor Petre Buzea said: “They got paid so I’m sure they’re happy.”

FRATERNITY BOYS: The college kids,who wish to be known only as John Doe one and John Doe two, pick Borat up after he is left stranded on his mission to get to California to meet and marry Pamela Anderson. The boozed-up boys offer him a wide range of advice when it comes to courting the opposite sex. Since seeing the film, they claim they were duped into looking like boozy idiots. Now the frat boys are suing for fraud, breach of contract, invasion of privacy and distress. The pair want to have the scenes deleted — so catch the movie while you still can.

The road trippers show Borat the infamous sex video Pamela Anderson made with Tommy Lee.

DHARMA ARTHUR, TV producer: She lost her job as producer of the lunchtime news show on the WAPT network in Jackson, Mississippi.

She unwittingly booked Borat to appear on the show — and he disrupted the broadcast.

Anchorman Brad McMullan was struggling to control the Kazak guest, who insisted on standing up throughout the interview and attempted to walk out midway through as he needed to use the toilet.

The interview went from bad to worse when he made a string of sexual references, repeatedly kissed McMullan, in line with the traditional Kazakhstan greeting, before intruding on a live weather forecast, leaving weatherman Ken Johnson in hysterics, unable to finish the report.

Dharma now plans to sue. She said: “Because of him my boss lost faith in my abilities and second-guessed everything I did thereafter.

“I spiralled into depression and before I could recover I was released from my contract early.

“It took me three months to find another job and now I’m thousands of dollars in debt and struggling to keep my house.

Good Glod ... Romanian village, left, and outraged Nicu
Good Glod … Romanian village, left, and outraged Nicu

“How upsetting that a man who leaves so much harm in his path is lauded as a comic genius. Think of all the other people who’ve probably been fired because of his antics.”

BOBBY ROWE, rodeo manager: Lulled into a sense of false security, the man from Tennessee appears as the face of redneck America and is outspoken about Iraq, homosexuals and Muslims.

The crowd at the rodeo provide enough ammunition to fill a full 90 minutes — one cowboy goes so far as to recommend Borat shave off his moustache or risk the terrible fate of being mistaken for a Muslim.

Borat takes centre stage before the rodeo begins and addresses the packed stadium, offering his nation’s support for Bush’s War On Terror.

The audience noisily lends its approval with cheers and applause even when Borat calls for Iraq to be bombed “so only lizard survive.”

His popularity comes to an abrupt end when he bursts into song — reciting the Kazak national anthem to the tune of the Star Spangled Banner.

The anthem declares that all other countries are run by little girls and Kazakhstan boasts the area’s cleanest prostitutes, with the exception of Turkestan.

Funny side ... with humour coach Pat, and behind the wheel with Michael
Funny side … with humour coach Pat, and behind the wheel with Michael

Bobby is keen to avoid the public glare. He said: “I got into the mess by someone calling me and telling me who they was and they weren’t.

“So now I don’t do any interviews over the phone any more.

“This phone rings ten or 12 times a day. That’s what got me into this mess and I don’t want to get in any deeper.”

MICHAEL PSENICSKA, driving instructor: He believes his life was put at risk after Borat drove on the wrong side of the road.

Michael, of Baltimore County, Maryland, says he got a call from a foreign TV company saying they were making a documentary film.

He claims that, as he was signing a release form agreeing to his participation, the producers flashed cash in front of him.

Michael said: “I saw 500 dollars and signed it. I thought nothing about it but I was allowing them to make a documentary.

“I don’t care what I signed. I know what they did to me and it’s just not fair. Borat has not heard the end of me.”

JIM SELL, car salesman: He was approached by the producers of the film at his Chevrolet car dealership in Gaithersburg, Maryland, and asked to take part in the film.

Sell claims the film crew had already begun filming when he was handed 150 dollars.

In the film the car dealer appears to sell the reporter an ice cream van after advising Borat which car is most suitable for killing a family of gipsies.

Jim claims his reputation has been ruined as a result, as he cannot sell second-hand vans.

JOE BEHAR, bed and breakfast owner: He and his wife say a scene showing cockroaches running around at their home has hurt their business in Massachusetts.

Borat is seen throwing money at the cockroaches, claiming the Jewish couple have used their evil to “change shapes” and become insects, before fleeing the elderly couple’s home.

Joe claims they were told the film was being made for the Kazakhstan Tourism Department. The cockroaches were added digitally by film-makers.

Joe said: “This is very insulting. They never told us they were going to do this. It is really terrible.”

PAT HAGGERTY, speech and humour coach: Not everyone is annoyed with their part in the film. The Washington DC public-speaking expert claims he realised Borat was a spoof character during the interview and is happy to have the free publicity his 15 minutes of fame has brought.

Pat said: “About halfway through the session we took a break and I went up to one of the producer guys and said, ‘This guy can’t be real.’

“If you let me in on the gag, I will help you reach your goals because I don’t care if you are from Kazakhstan. Nobody is this crazy.

“But I soldiered on and figured they paid me my money and they deserve an hour of my time and I’m going to be as professional as I can.”

Throughout the tutorial Borat introduced Pat to popular Kazak jokes, including one about having sex with your mother-in-law.

Borat’s “retard” brother is also a figure of fun and he explains how he is kept in a cage to control his “craziness.”

Pat, who has not yet seen the film, added: “To the best of my memory I don’t believe I said anything stupid.

“However, I’m in the movie. The only downside I see is if I appear to be a fool.”

– – –

editors note by zum:

whateverrrrrr, lol , i thought the movie was hilarious. i watched it on the day of release. the movie theater was packed, and everyone was laughing their asses off, incl me… i cried tears of laughter at some of Borat’s antics.

some people don’t seem to know that Sacha Baron Cohen, is a jew himself. he just shows how america really is. which i can contest ( specially about the southern part ), because i am a foreigner in this country and what some of these rednecks say on the flic – that’s how it truly is. a pretty much racist country.

Advertisements

You dirty Borat!

He’s Central Asia’s most unwanted superstar and his blockbusterings movie film is coming to a screen near you. Rob Fitzpatrick talks pop, politics and potatoes with the Kazakhstani legend Borat

Saturday October 28, 2006
The Guardian

Borat Sagdiyev is a 27-year-old Kazakh, ( edited by Zum: actually, Borat is really 37 years old!) journalist on a mission across America to find Pamela Anderson. So far, so not very hilarious. However, as even the tree people of Borneo now know, Borat is also the invention of Sacha Baron Cohen and is, therefore, about as offensive a character as it’s possible to be without actual physical harm being visited upon everyone he comes into contact with. In the knuckle-bitingly intense new film – Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan – every single sensitive issue of our times – racism, misogyny, terrorism, needing a poo – gets its chance to shine. As you will see from our interview with Central Asia’s most unreconstructed superstar .

Hello Borat, if you could change one thing in your new film, what would it be?

“I would not change nothing about my movie film. It have already open in Kazakhstan, where it was a blockbusterings! It take top spot from Hollywood movie King Kong, which had been No 1 film in Kazakhstan ever since it was release in 1933.”

You have a very unique dancing style – when did you last go raving?

“I very much like dancings and popular music. Current ‘all the rages’ in Kazakh discotheque is the music by dancing negro(edited by zum: what a fuck to use this racist word!), Michael Jacksons. We like very much his new song Beat It. We have many major exports in my country – first is potassium, second is apples and third is small boys to Michael Jackson’s ranch. Why not? They like. Is niiice! Also very current very popular in Kazakhstan is singing transvestite Madonna. He really look like a womans! Only thing that give him away is his huge hands, and the bulge around his chram. My personal favourite is rock music band Queen – in particular the singer, Frederick Mercury. He is a ladies’ man. It great shame that he die in that car crash. Many peoples say I looks like him. In facts, last month I come seventh in Almaty’s annual ‘Who look most like Freddy Mercury’ competition. This out of over 843,000 entrant!”

We’ve been having a mass debate in Britain about Muslim women wearing veils – how do you approach this problem in Kazakhstan?

“Yes, like in Britain, most people is also very offended if women is not completely covered. There was recent a terrible incident when a Kazakh woman teacher exposed her face to some childrens and made them all cry. This will not be tolerate.”

Your moustache is impressive, but I saw that picture of you in your swimsuit and your genitals look just a little withered – is this common in your country?

“I has a very nice genitals – my chram medium length (fifth-long in my village) and fat-like tube Pringles. Howevers, my testes is only make dangle 14.6 cm – I wish this was more and is try to increase by suspend a car battery from them three hours per day.”

Are you over your gypsy attack yet?

“Gypsies not so much a problem at the moment – we is much more worried about assholes Uzbekistan, who as everyone knows is a very nosey people with a bone in the middle of their brains. Our fear is them gettings weapons of mass destructions. It rumoured that within 10 years they will have technology to build their own catapults.”

Your mother is an attractive woman. Would she like to join my friend’s special circus and perform with his donkeys?

“My mother too old for this, but maybe my friend Lily Utmarkan would be interest. She ex-Kazakh Olympic gymnast who currently perform in our state circus where, for her latest trick, she puts one foot in her ear while other in her vagine.”

Do you think a strong man like George Bush could sort out the problems of the Kazakh government?

“We in Kazakhstan admires very much George Walter Bush. He a very wise man and very strong – although perhaps not so strong as his father Barbara.”

Why was your brother Bilo chopped out of the film?

“My brother Bilo has a small head but very strong arms. He have 204 teeth (193 in mouth 11 in nose)! You can do anything to him – he do not remember nothing! He is a sex crazy … all day long he in his cage look on porno and rub rub rub!”

Which of all the sexual fruits of the barnyard do you find most alluring?

“I like very much the Kazakh fruit apples. They is like a green potato that taste similar to plov.”

Can you see any good that has come out of allowing women to vote?

“No. We say that to give a woman power is like to give monkeys guns – very dangerous! We do not do this anymore since the 2003 Almaty zoo massacre.”

What are the three best tracks on your iPod?

“I current listen to Beat It by Michael Jackson, Girls Just Want To Have Fuck by Cyndi Laupers and Candles In The Winds, which song about crushed princess by bald homosexual, Eltonjohn.”

· Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan is out Nov 3.

thank you very much, thank you very much, fuck you very much

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 14:02:16 -0800

13:01PM

i am thrilled! i have the whole js clique running into my territory!

i thought at first i am going to reply to each cretin’ on here, but no that’s to much energy, i don’t want to waste on these welfare recipients on here.

so, from what it looks like, miss tennessee whined about bad bad zum , who told her just how it is. to bad the posts or replys are deleted. but then again, i suppose it is none but mindless drivel anyhow.

well my dear fanclub, you all have been posting your skins off on here, which i find very amusing.
no one cared about the turk, til i posted a comment that is more than legitimate on ms tennesee’s js, in response to her backstabbing comment on the turks js.

all of a sudden, the human brains stopped functioning. the evil “ameerikans” (it is the arab/ english readable spelling for america, you dimwits), invaded the house of zum, to leave me hate/love notes.

i am flattered – yet the nonsense written by these pms’ng females are beyond retarded.

” maple “, the never – getting – laid – damsel in distress, with her 10 year old picture from her better days, wants to raise a spitfire around here.
negative!
it is not working. calling me a transvestite – thats a classic, never heard that one before, but hey whatever floats your boat, i don’t have much experience in the transvestite field, so i could not tell you what they look like. but seems you are an expert since you like to socialize with the “it’s”. makes one wonder…

for the spanish chicana and her comment, yes mami, show some spanish temper tandrums, that’s why my spanish papi chose me and not some halfbaked cookie like you. *wink*

eurotrash, haha, well i am delighted you call me that, as a matter of fact, i take this as a compliment. i really do, it just shows how unique i am, compared to you!

anyhow, talking about my pics, go ahead and knock yourself out kids. i know what i am, i know i am beautiful inside and out :=)

all this mindless name calling and anger – is negative energy. negative energy creates illness’s. ( or atleast be creative and inteligent about it. sheesh! )

seriously, you no life having jokers have no room to speak. each of your js’s are filled with either bitching about not getting laid,
( that’s why some use js… to find their counterpart, just to find out – it didn’t work out…awww :(
or talking about their non happening lifes. what do you people really have to say, other then complaining about the lifes you don’t have?

i am a political person, very political i may add! i have been on this site, when “tiroteo” was the man in charge. i grew with this site, yet, i bet most of you will write the same nonsense in the years to come.

my mind functions. i fight for injustice done to people/ countries/ races. i am opinionated, yes i am. yet i have zero tolerance for ignorance! and all these comments are pure ignorant. they are posted out of anger, not within a rational mind.

therefore they are meaningless.

to get some facts straight, yes there was an armenian genocide. ( do your history homework, idiot, before you make yourself look like a fool on here! ). to say that all ” armenians ” lie, is racism and incorrect.

i was raised in germany, my grandmother was in a concentration camp – do i hate the germans? no, i don’t. do i hate the turks? no i don’t. even though the majority of the turks will deny the genocide done against the armenians.
do i hate americans? no i don’t – but 99% of the worlds population is stupid – and the majority of them happens to live in north america. (as seen here on this very small world of js)

puff up your chest and be proud to have some ” deutschlaender wuerstchen ” in you, which american doesn’t have german, scottish, irish in them. bla bla bla early pilgrims bla bla bla, much ?

for the sexual offender who dreams of having some sort of intercourse with me, you and jeffrey dahmer would have made a nice couple.
– – –

anyhow, i just got off a 16 hour workday and have to attend another 12 hours of work tonight. i spoke my peace. i appreciate all the attention whoring on here, but sweet zum has to get some zzz’s.

again i am delighted by the negative energy you guys put into your lifes. maybe that will give you some to talk about for a change.
keep on writing and trying to analyze me. wont be easy though – because i am a chameleon :=)

night night,

zum~